personal

The unfairness in life

The first time I came in close contact with death was back in 2009 when my mother died. I was devasted and for a very long time (almost two years) I just went through. I wasn’t particularly aware of anything, wasn’tΒ alive. One day she was there, laughing because I was just because too worried about my presentation – the other she was gone, peacefully in her sleep (she died of cancer, so we were all kind of prepared for that).Β I emotionally realised back then that I couldn’t reall deal with death.

I was really little (can’t really remember how old I was) when I saw Star Wars. My brothers loved the series (especially my older brother) and were thrilled when I loved the first one (“A New Hope”). I loved (and still do!) everything about the movied. It was simple, a good against evil, a princess, a dashing guy and a sweet and cute hero. Most of all, I loved Leia. Leia was my heroine for a very long time – and in a sense, it still is – and yes, I did my hair just like her. The moment she came on screen and started to “exist”- I was mesmerised by her.

She was a princess, a senate and a spy for the Rebel Alliance – talk about strong, independant woman!

I adored Leia – she was strong, witty, caring, sarcastic, and assertive. I loved every moment she was on screen and I wanted so badly to be like her, to have people adore me and respect me at the same time. Leia was the role model kids need and I wish there were more like her. Considering that back then, sexism was much stronger than now (at least, that’s what I think!) Leia had such important roles – yes, Luke was the hero; Luke had the Force and all the important parts of the movie – but Leia was a princess, imperial senate (just those two are very important roles, even if one was by unfortunate events) but she was also a spy! A spy for the Rebel Alliance and honestly, that is pretty cool and badass! How many women had that kind of empowerment back then? In “New Hope”, she wasn’t even sexualised, which was even greater! To me, it was a big step in good development for female characters.

Then 2016 came in.

I just can’t believe she is dead. Carrie Fisher had a heart attack a few days ago – and oh, how much I prayed she would recover! – and now I go online to see that she is dead. She was part of my childhood and one of my role models and I honestly am not dealing well with her death. The other “celebrity” I cried so much was back when Alan Rickman died – he was also a part of my childhood, a BIG part and I came to respect more and more as I grew up.

There were a lot others that died this year, so many that were unfair and I mourned heavily their death, but no one hit me like Alan and Carrie did. I don’t think is unfair and I honestly never thought that these moments would come so early.

May the Force be with you Princess Leia.

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